So those of you who are regular watchers of "Jeopardy!" has begun. Those (very few) of you who read this blog and/or know me in real life also know about my audition back in the spring. Well, if you're watching the show looking to see if I'm going to be a contestant on it this season, DON'T. The tapings for this season have come and gone, and I wasn't called, which means you won't be seeing my reach my destiny as mega-multiple, gazillion-dollar "Jeopardy!" champion just yet. I'm on a waiting list, which is good through next season's taping. If I don't call the call by then, I have to go through the testing and interview process all over again. As the audition coordinators hammered home to us, it ain't easy making the show, no matter how smart you (think you) are. Just too few contestant spots in a season for too many aspiring bodies. However, as the coordinators also pointed out, many of the show's big champions were those who didn't make it to the show the first time they auditioned. So there's that.
I'm slightly bummed out I didn't make it to the show this time around (and I will no doubt be even more bummed if the face of someone I recognize from my audition session comes smiling and phrasing answers in the form of questions across my TV screen), but in the end, I just it as a delay in gettin' mine, because I'm gonna try to bankrupt them suckas when I do make that appearance on "Jeopardy!" I've already claimed my winnings (well, not literally, obviously; you won't be seeing me rolling around the streets of Baltimore in a Benz anytime soon)! Hell, I'm so sure I'm going to kick some Jeopardy! ass, I have more than once simultaneously fallen into three of my more prominent tendencies - list making nerdiness, a dandified, preppified dress sense, and putting off shit I should be doing while daydreaming about shit I wish I was doing - by imagining what I would be wearing during each of my seventy-five "Jeopardy!" victories (one more than the great Ken Jennings). Yes, I did put together 75 different outfits in my head, yes I did keep an imaginary running total of winnings for those 75 matches in my head. So what? Shut up about it and stop shaking your heads and laughing...'cause I just know some of y'all gonna be trying be my new best friends when I come flying back to the east coast with all my "Jeopardy!" winnings. So just let me have my daydreams until the real time comes, okay?