Fingertips

So I have been asked on occasion what is my "type" of woman, meaning what am I attracted to physically. My standard response has always been that I don't have a type; I just know what I like when I see. That's not really accurate, however. It's just that my "type" is not according to the standard labels us men like to slap on women: petite, average, thick, BBW, and so on. Whether or not a woman is physically "my type" is based on what I like to call "mathematical beauty" (hey, what else would you expect from a nerd?), which I will cover in detail in future posts, but which basically is all about proportions and ratios and curves and such. The particular size of a woman isn't quite as strong a factor in attractiveness to me as are proportions and curves and ratios and shapes.

"But, Angry Nerd," you might say, "why should we believe that you would go out with someone that has some size to them, when the last couple of women we've seen you with were little teeny things? Well, their being petite wasn't what drew me to them; they just had all the right mathematical ratios. Their petite sizes were just a coincidence. Besides, just because you haven't seen me with a larger woman doesn't automatically mean I wouldn't go out with one - or that I haven't already done so (y'all don't have to know all the Angry Nerd's business...)

Still not convinced? All right, all right, I'll confess: I do have one rule/test/restriction when it comes to women of size. I call it "The Fingertips Rule". It states as follows: "If I hug a woman and I can't touch my fingertips on the other side of her, then she's too much woman for me." Simple, right? What? You think that's shallow? Aw, c'mon, a man's gotta know his limitations! I mean, if she's big enough that I can't touch my fingertips on the back side of her when we hug, then how we gonna...er...never mind...

I mean, I know that today's big girls can be beautiful, confident, fun, sassy, and great to be around; I get that. And surely, there are plenty of brothas lined up to chase/date/hookup with said big girls. And as I said, I am not opposed to this idea; I would (and have) done so myself (dammit, I said y'all weren't supposed to know all my business!). But - and this is a BIG but (no pun intended) - when it comes to women, I'm like an amusement park: your circumference has to be less than my reach in order to enjoy this ride...

Alright, so that's the basics on my "type". Mock me if you must, but hey, I'm really not that hard to please, certainly not as bad as guys who isolate particular body parts  as a woman as a means of determining whether she is attractive (and I won't even get into the picky ass nonsense women use as criteria for determining attractiveness in a man). I may analyze how and why I find a woman attractive more than most (surprise, surprise), but in the end, as I said, I don't believe I'm hard to please...

Now come over, big girl, and give me a hug...