Friday, March 9, 2012

"Jeopardy!"

I was watching my favorite game show, "Jeopardy!" one night a little over three years ago, when the announcement game on that online tests were going to be conducted for a contestant search. Since being a contestant on the show has long been a dream of mine, I raced to the computer to go to jeopardy.com and register for the test.

After I registered, I got my notice of when to be available to take the test; along with that came the recommendation to try the practice test before taking the real thing. In my best Clay Davis voice, I said, "SSShhheeeeeeiiiiiiiiiitttttt, I don't need no practice test! Don't they know who I am?" My confidence in not only being picked to be a contestant on "Jeopardy!", but taking home a big-time haul was staggering, and bordering on (probably actually putting my toes on the other side of the border) arrogance...Hell, I had already started imagining what I was going to wear on all those different days I was winning money (get ahead of myself? Moi? No way!)...

Finally, the time to actually take the test. I logged in, took some breaths, and watched the countdown to the test start time, fully confident that I was about to take the first step in becoming the Black Ken Jennings. And then...

The first question (or answer, actually, if you are familiar with the Jeopardy format of responding to answers with questions) popped up, together with a timer that immediately started counting down from 15 seconds. For about 12 of those seconds, the following went through my brain:

IknowthisIknowthisIknowthisIknowthis, whatisitwhatisitwhatisitwhatisit?

After a lifetime of acquiring and warehousing all kinds of trivial facts and figures and statistics in this head of mine and being able to regurgitate them at the snap of a finger, I was having a severe brain fart which was interfering with my ability to access this fact from the recesses of my brain. Finally, with about 3 seconds left to answer, the response came to me, and I started frantically typing...but not fast enough, as my 15 seconds ran out before I completed my response. Oh boy...The next few questions produced the same sort of panic, in 15 second increments: either I'd go down to the wire trying to pull an response out of me (sometimes typing the response in time, sometimes not); or I knew I had absolutely had no idea what the answer was and just hit the "pass" button; or a couple of times an answer came to me immediately and I was only too relieved to type it in and keep things moving. Finally, about halfway through the test, I calmed the heck down, got into a good rhythm, and sailed through to the end - fifty questions in all, at 15 seconds or less a pop. Not a whole lot of time from start to finish, but plenty enough for me to have choked it away. Even though I finished strong, I gave away most of the first half of the test just by not remaining calm.

I should've tried the damned practice tests...
***

Last year I gave it another shot. I was prepared, calm, and  focused. I put the first test experience behind me, took the practice tests,  and did plenty of reading on a variety of subjects. I was all set to go...but there was one last minute development: the babysitting of my then one year old grandson, Darius, aka "the Hurricane". It just so happened that my test appointment time was at 8:15, right about the time Darius' mother hit the showers to get ready to work her night job. So now I had two choices: try to take the test with Darius screaming in his crib, or try to take the test with him in the room with me. I chose the latter option, and took the test with the Hurricane climbing all over me. I have the feeling neither option would have worked. EPIC FAIL.

Then came this year. All prepared, psyched, ready to go. NO ONE in the house but me, did a little workout before the test to get the blow flowing. Everything was in place for a passing score. Then the test started. First question, no clue, PASS. Second question was a IknowthisIknowthisIknowthisIknowthis, whatisitwhatisitwhatisitwhatisit? type of deal. I got the response in with one second left...Here we go again...But then, before I started to get in a panic, the tide changed: I got an easy one that I jumped all over, then a few tougher ones, but ones I got right away. Next thing you know, I was an a bona fide ROLL. It doesn't take long to answer 50 questions when you have only 15 seconds for each one. When you're struggling to come up with an answer to a question (especially when it's one you're pretty sure you know, or should know), that 15 seconds is like an eyeblink. But when you're hot, it like "15 seconds? I don't need no stinkin' 15 seconds!" And that's how I had it going on this test - finally! There is no indication from the Jeopardy! online test whether you've passed or failed the test when you done taking. They flash a big "thank you" on the screen, with a message that you will be notified if you pass and they want to audition you further. I didn't hear a damned thing from them the first two times I took it, confirming what I already knew in my gut - that I had crashed and burned. This time, though, I fully expected that somebody was going to be hittin' a brotha up about making some Jeopardy money...
***

Almost two months later, as I was checking my e-mails, there it was:
From - Jeopardy Contestant Search
Subject - Jeopardy Contestant Audition in Philadelphia on 3/28

I had passed the test, and now I had a follow up appointment to meet with the Jeopardy! people. The e-mail was shrouded in mystery, however; there was no mention of WHERE in Philadelphia I had to go, just that I needed to be in Philadelphia on March 28 at 11:30AM. There was nothing about what the audition consisted of, only that it would last about 2 to 2 and a half hours. I needed to RSVP within 48 hours, providing them with certain information that was in the e-mail, and then they would respond to me within 10 days after that to give me more details...

TO BE CONTINUED...

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