Saturday, March 24, 2012

Baltimorons - Howard County Edition

Well now, we have ourselves a story of some bona fide Baltimoron behavior out in the suburbs...apparently a young female student at the town of Columbia's Long Reach High School felt like she was being picked on a little too much by at least one of her schoolmates. After said schoolmate allegedly threw a french fry at her (the french fry that broke the camel's back?), the young lady decided to take action. She reached out to an adult male (relative, acquaintance, friend? The stories I've read haven't yet identified this man or what his relationship to the girl is) from Baltimore, apparently to ask him to rough up the alleged french fry thrower (and I say "alleged" because from reading different responses to the story, it's not entirely clear that the student this girl fingered was even the guilty party) for the crime of assault with a deadly potato.

Well, let's just say things didn't go down as planned. As this link explains, Ol' boy drove out to Long Reach High School from Baltimore to catch up with young Mr. French Fry Hurler after school. When the young lady pointed the young man out to her rescuer, then man pulled a ski mask over his face, walked up to the young man, and (I suppose) after saying something briefly to him, decided to take a swing. One problem: he missed...

The young man, however - a short but powerfully built football player - did NOT miss. And one punch and a split second later, the masked avenger was sleeping peacefully on the ground next to the school. The young lady who set this all up then came charging after the young man, but he - smartly - managed to back away and keep her at bay without knocking her into lala land next to the masked avenger, before teachers and security came running in to separate the two.

This being the age of cell phones and You Tube, the whole mess was recorded and posted, and went viral in no time flat. If you haven't already seen, here it is - but pay close attention, because the "fight" is over quick:

The masked avenger woke up to an assault charge for his troubles, as did the young lady who thought calling on this Baltimoron was going to solve her problems. No charges for the young football player, as he did what you would expect, which was defend himself.

All in all, this was about the best laugh I had all week, because, Mr. Masked Baltimoron,

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