Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice? Um, not so much...

"All right, ladies, fine. You are not a whore. But you are wearing a whore's uniform." - Dave Chappelle, "Killin' Them Softly"



So Monday morning marked the day that adults in Baltimore who travel to and from work via public transportation dread like none other: the first day of school...there goes the peace and quiet we enjoyed all summer long (aside from an occasional drunk or crackhead creating a scene). My ride experience this morning, however, was indicative of an evolving paradigm shift: that it is the girls who have become more disruptive than the boys...

First of all, there is the way these high school girl dress. Jesus me, I thought I accidentally gotten onto a prison bus where the cops had done a sweep and rounded up all the local prostitutes...you had displays of breasts that ranged from titty strangulation by way-too-tight tops all the way to those that were just all out in the open and barely covered at all. Then you had practically every girl wearing the looooow riding pants that gave them all cases of plumber's butt, and half of the girls showing their asses also had on tops that were cut off or tied up so that they were exposing their midriffs along with the plumber's butt - and to be frank, some of those stretch marks and spare tires and blubber bellies ain't got any business being made available for public viewing (well really, at their ages, they should have all been covered up more, especially given that they were going to school, but how the hell do these kids get so damned out of shape?). Even some of the girls that were wearing uniforms made their best efforts to slutty up those uniforms by tying up their uniform tops (again to show off stomachs that were in various degrees of fitness), wearing fishnet stocking with uniform skirts, and in one case, substituting khaki uniform pants with a low-riding pair that also had the legs cut off so short that butt cheeks were spilling out of the top and the bottom of the shorts. I have three questions to all of this foolishness:

1. How the hell did these girls make it out of the house without a parent knocking them upside their heads and sending them back to put the rest of their clothes on?
2. How the hell did they get into school without being sent home? And...
3. Am I sounding like a cranky old fart yet? 

Even worse than the way these young "ladies" dressed was the foulness of their mouths. I remember a time when calling a female a "bitch" was cause for a fight; then it became popular for these young, dumb boys to routinely call young women bitches with little repercussion. Now the guys don't have to refer to them that way, because these are calling themselves bitches - and as a general purpose term, ranging from "That bitch betta not say nothing to me when I see her, or Imma beat her ass"...to (talking on the phone to a friend) "Where you at, bitch, I thought you was catching the bus?"...to "I told that nigga he gonna be sorry, cuz he ain't gonna get no other bitch to be as good to him as I was"...aye yi yi, I need to buy a iPod or something...

But as bad as that all sounded (to me, anyway), the worst of it was a little conversation that got start near the end of the ride, where three little angels got into a discussion over who was the oldest guy they had (or were having) sex with. The one girl whose oldest partner was "only" 17 was was roundly ridiculed by the other two, who bragged of being with men in their 20s and even early 30s, guys who had their own cribs and cars and money they didn't mind spending on them. The girl who was doing her thing with the 17 year old was stupid, they said, for doing the do with someone that young and without proper financial resources. She was giving away her goodies for nothing, while they were proud to have gotten some financial return on spreading their legs...by this point, my head was pounding. What would their mothers think of this conversation? Then again, maybe they are modeling themselves after their mothers...

Well, at least the young men were far better behaved. They mostly sat or stood in a collective daze, headphones on, or engaged in much quieter (thankfully) conversations. And I could tell it was the first day of school, because they all seemed to have bright, colorful new drawers they were showing off under their sagging ass pants...

Whew, I'm glad my kids are grown...