Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Baltimorons: "Madam, I Believe It's Called WORCESTERSHIRE Sauce..."

So as I'm walking into the neighborhood CVS, about a half hour before closing, in breezes this woman with too little clothing and too much body, in an obvious state of panic. I watched as she practically ran back to the food section, then out of curiosity (and sensing a subject for a blog post) I strolled back to the area to see what the deal was...

"Oh my God, oh my God," the lady practically screamed, "where the hell is the Winchester Sauce?

Woooo boy...I came real close to busting out laughing, but I held it together and kept it moving to go and get what I came in for. But a few minutes later, as the cashier was ringing up my purchase, the security guard approached and asked if they carried any Winchester Sauce. "Winchester Sauce?" the cashier asked, looking totally befuddled. "Yeah, WINCHESTER SAUCE," the lady said breathlessly, still in a ridiculous overwrought state of panic. "Like you put on steaks."

"You mean, STEAK SAUCE?"
"I mean, it's kinda like steak sauce, but different. It's Winchester Sauce. WINCHESTER SAUCE! You never heard of that?"
"Uh, well, we don't carry that, but if you hurry, you can catch the corner store in the next block before they close; they might have it."
"Oh Lord, okay...oh my God, I gotta have this Winchester Sauce for my steak!"

By this point I was too through. The intellectual side of me wanted to scream "Lady it's called WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE!" while the smartass in me just wanted to laugh in her face. And if she had said "Winchester Sauce" one more time, I might just have done both...

As I exited the store, the woman was standing on the steps trying to figure out where the corner store was. I pointed her in the right direction, she replied by saying, "Oh thank you! I hope they ain't closed yet; I gots to have this Winchester Sauce for my steak!"

I took off in the opposite direction and got away from her as fast as i could...

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