Ever wonder why a baby or toddler with an ear infection screams uncontrollably? Simple: because it's a friggin' miserable, non-stop painful feeling! I've had a few ear infections over recent years, usually in the winter, and each occurence pretty much unfolded the same way: scratchiness in the (always right) ear, as well as in the throat, followed by the onset of an aggressive, unyielding pain and a stopped up feeling in that ear, leading to a visit to the doctor's and a prescription for some antibiotics, and the whole mess is over with (until the next time) in a few days...
Well, a couple weeks ago, it happened again, only this time seemed a little different. For one, it happened during the middle of the summer. Also, whatever I thought was a painful earache was nothing compared to what was hitting me this time. My right ear felt so stopped up and full, it was like my inner ear was going to come exploding through my right temple. My jaw felt like I was a Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot that was one more punch away from getting its head lifted up off its body; by the time I made it to the doctor, I was reduced to eating nothing but yogurt, soup, and ice cream - and even the chunks of chicken in my chicken noodle soup were torture to chew.
So I got my antibiotic drops, with the instructions to call the office if nothing improved in a few days. This was on a Saturday; by Tuesday, not only was the right ear not feeling any better, but the left ear was now going through the same set of symptoms, to the point where I could barely even hear at all. Yes, it's ear infections in STEREO! On top of that, I was staggering around in a haze of vertigo, had a fever, and to top it all off, a particularly active case of diarrhea. To sum it all up, I was live and in 3-D: deaf, dizzy, doo-dooing. So back to the doc I go...
This time I saw my regular doc (the first trip was on a Saturday, so I got the doctor that was covering that weekend), so I had to run through the whole sequence of events from the beginning, followed by a bunch of questions from him about what symptoms I had or didn't have, when each symptom appeared, and how severe each one was. Then just when it seemed like the Q&A was done, I mentioned the diarrhea, which sparked another round of questions (who knew bowel movements would be of interest in ear problems? I mean, I know some people about whom it could said have "shit for brains", and some more that are so full of shit, it ought to be running out of their ears, but still...), and some contemplation and a quick internet search by the doctor.
"Mr. Angry Nerd, could you take off your glasses for a moment?" the doctor asked. I'm going to hold one finger up in front of you, and I want you to follow it with your eyes only as I move it around." Simple test, right? One we've all done plenty times...but I absolutely could not do it this time. First I was moving my whole head, then it was moving my eyes in a delayed reaction, then, when I tried to bear down and focus, that made it even worse; my eye's were just out of control. I don't believe I can't do this!
"Well, Mr. Angry Nerd, it would appear you have a condition known as Meniere's Disease. It's an inner ear order that affects your hearing and balance."
"Never heard of it."
"You have all the symptoms. Check it out on the Internet when you get home," he said, handing me a post-it note with the name written on it. "I'm going to give you prescriptions for a different antibiotic ear drop, another ear drop for pain, a pill for dizziness and nausea, and some prescription ibuprofen."
Aye yi yi! Four medications? I'm too absent minded to reminded to be trying to remember when to take all that crap...
So off I went to get all this stuff from the pharmacy. And wouldn't you know it, the one I needed the most - meclizine, for dizziness (I've had enough injuries that I can function with pain; spinning rooms are another matter entirely) - was the one that my insurance didn't cover. "I won't fill it if you don't want to get it," the pharmacist said.
"No, no, that's the one I need the most," I said (and I'm sure some of you probably think I should've been taking something to prevent me from being dizzy years ago LOL); and next thing I know, I was strolling out of the pharmacy with a big bad full of drugs...
And as for the part about being too absent minded to remember when to take all this stuff? Well, symptoms have a way of reminding me...
So for all of you who have asked me about my condition, there you have it. Thanks for your concern, and hopefully it wasn't TMI. But I figure if you read this far it wasn't TMI (and you didn't get turned off by my shit talking LOL). Besides, anytime I can turn feeling like crap into a blog post, I gotta do it...
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